24-34-46?
4:22 p.m. || 2004-06-25
I will readily admit that there are a LOT of things in this world that I don't understand. I usually attribute this to my huge lack of intelligence and deductive reasoning skills. However, some things I just really don't think make sense. Because of my need for people to explain stupid things to me, and because I don't want the 'It could be worse' entry up all weekend (for, you see, I have no phone line or computer at home, so no posty until Lunes) I will leave you a couple of random thoughts for your Fin de Semana.
I don't understand #1.
As the title would rightfully suggest, I am confused by the opening line of the new Petey Pablo song 'Freek-a-leak' where he says, "24-34-46." Now I'm all for a woman with a little junk in the trunk, so let's hear no disparaging remarks about a big ass. But, a big ass with a 24" chest?? Am I missing something here?? And no, I didn't get it wrong, that's actually what the lyric sheets say (yes, I am ashamed of myself for looking them up). While we're on the subject of big asses and black stereotypes, someone explain this one to me. Later in the song it says, "I need a girl I can freak with, who likes to try shit, and ain't scared of a big dick, and loves to get her pussy licked by another bitch, 'cause I ain't drunk enough to do that." What?! Are you f'in kidding me? Have you ever tried it? Get down there and give it a go! You'll love it (and more importantly so will she), I promise! Okay, no more racial stereotyping today. We'll make fun of rednecks and asians sometime next week though if you want.
I don't understand #2.
Why on a website with 1.5 million participants (Dairyland's numbers, not mine) would you not have a better search function. Here's what I want. If I type in "Funny, mostly bald, artistic redneck" it should immediately say, *BANG!* Here is Pork Tornado's "No Girls Allowed" story. When I type in "Asshat who hates Texas (What? Someone doesn't worship Texas?) and yet will still manage to marry WAY over his head" it should throw me straight to Juddhole. At the very least I should be able to type in "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the most pent up anger of us all?" *DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER!* The glorious and talented Ms. DailyWTF!
Instead I have to search for 'Texas' or 'Asshats' or 'Funny Rednecks' and I get nothing. NOTHING! of interest to me. Oh sure, I get 300 entries, 275 of which are no longer active, and 1 of which is me. The other 24 of you are sick, sick people!! Actually, most of you are 11 year old girls bemoaning the fact that you haven't found true love yet and think you might throw yourself off a bridge. I'd like to refer each of you back to Ms. DailyWTF. Learn about her life. It will soon be your's, but you are nowhere near as creative or funny as her, so everyone will hate you.
Also, being a single 27 year old boy with excess horniness in his system and nothing to do with it, I can choose to click on individual names that appear interesting to me. For example when I clicked on I'dLikeToDoASingle27YearOldBoyWithExcessHorniness.diaryland.com I came across an extremely disturbing person. Let it be known sir that you have been blocked from my buddy list until you apologize!! It appears pretty standard that if you have a fun name you probably suck (and I do not mean that in any positive connotation of the word). However if you have a stupid or disgusting nickname you have a 10% chance of being okay, and therefore a 90% chance of being into hardcore gay porn or bestiality. (You bestiality people are sick I tell you! You shouldna done that. He's just a little puppy.)
So, alas... All of my friends are just friends of my friends since I appear to be incapable of making new friends, and we live in this one big happy cliquish universe.
What I'm saying is, some of you need to find more interesting friends, so that I'll have more people to play with.
Wanna know how to scare your ex? - 2005-03-12
Maybe I am not the sickest person out there. - 2005-02-23
I'm out of my funk and I'm not talking about hygiene. - 2005-02-11
Ding Dong the Sports Season is Dead. - 2005-02-07
Wow, is this thing still on? - 2005-01-31
4:22 p.m. || 2004-06-25
