I loves me a Jagged Little Pill.
8:48 a.m. || 2004-07-06

Yep, I'll admit it, I love Alanis Morissette. I am such a feyg (Eds. Note: I can't quite get the right intonation on that pronunciation of 'fag' in writing, which should almost sound more like 'fig' but with a little bit of 'a' in the middle. It also makes me smile a bit more than just saying 'fag' which to me seems very derogatory to all the fags out there.). I watched the Howard Stern show on E! last night and they were interviewing her. I was extremely impressed by her interview. She's obviously a nut job (but since we write online diaries for the enjoyment of others, let's not judge here) but was very well spoken and obviously well educated. I was very disappointed when I found out that she lost her virginity to Dave Coulier of Full House 'fame.' How the hell could you ever sleep with Uncle Joey without picturing him saying, "Cut-it-Out!"? Anyway, I think she's Canadian, so I'll give her a free pass on this one because the cold obviously addled her brain. The long winter also causes poor driving skills from what I understand.

Anyway, on to my weekend... It was all that I hoped it would be. I made a little money at the track and then had the opportunity to spend it all on horribly overpriced priced beer. I of course, took this opportunity and ran with it. I also got to be ME a little bit. As I mentioned on Friday there was a concert after the races, and while I don't really care for the band, they were loud, they didn't suck and since we took girls with us, we ended up at the very front with everybody bouncing around and sweaty. I should point out that I happen to enjoy sweaty, bouncing, drunk girls. It brings to mind some of the most enjoyable times in my life, brief though they may have been. Anway, to get back on track, I notice this particular girl checking me out. This is my favorite part of people getting drunk... Not the fact that they get loud or crazy and may rip their clothes off, but rather the fact that they get brazen. I like a person who knows what they want. They'll look you up and down with the unmistakable look of 'want' in their eyes. It's almost as if they're memorizing every part and thinking, "I can't put my hand right there, and I'll pull this part up here, then he could put that over there..." Anyway, you wanna really catch my attention, don't look at me coy, and then look away. Look at me the way this girl did. I figure the only polite thing to do is return the look and she seemed to appreciate it. Then her boyfriend got back and that really amused me. I'm not a 'take a girl away from her boy' kinda guy, but I will mess with someone, so I decided right then that she needed a beer (and I just happened to be empty too). I walked to the back of the crowd, bought a couple of beers and then came back. As I walked by her I nonchalantly handed one to her and never broke stride back to where the rest of my group was. Her boy didn't really seem to appreciate it, but she was grinning like the proverbial Cheshire Cat. I'm betting he got over it pretty fast though... I like to think she was so revved up that she blew him on the way home. Yay Me! I should get a t-shirt made that says, "JoeCartoon... Strengthening relationships since 1994!"

After we left the races I got the pleasure of watching a drunk girl try to throw $.75 into the toll booth without rolling her window down. The quarters crashed off the window, two of them going into the back seat and one of them bouncing right back and hitting her in the eye. Poor girl. I don't know who she was, but I'm glad she was in lane 4 since I was in lane 3.

The remainder of the weekend helped convince me of a necessary career move. I am officially on a job hunt that could halt my 'back to school' plans. I'm now looking for a job that pays me to lay on my fat ass on a raft in the lake while I drink beer. I did it solid for two days and it turns out I'm very good at it. I've already got the pre-requisite kick ass tan, so I feel I should be more qualified than most other applicants. Plus I learned this weekend that I can drink all night on Friday and then with just a single glass of water on Saturday morning, I can get in the lake and have 22.5 more beers before I get my first cramp. I think that will look very impressive on a resume (plus the 22.5 number is way higher than my GPA, so I'm doing away with that). So, after continuous days on the water I'm a bit pruny, but no sunburn (although I'm pretty sure I have a little tumor on my arm, anyone know what skin cancer looks like??) and my ass is very sore. I hope that's from riding the wave runner on a very choppy lake, but we had some narrow eyed shady characters around us, so it could be that I got ass raped. If I was passed out and don't remember it, it never happnened right? Oh who am I kidding... I'm such a feyg.

Older Lies||Younger Lies

Wanna know how to scare your ex? - 2005-03-12
Maybe I am not the sickest person out there. - 2005-02-23
I'm out of my funk and I'm not talking about hygiene. - 2005-02-11
Ding Dong the Sports Season is Dead. - 2005-02-07
Wow, is this thing still on? - 2005-01-31

8:48 a.m. || 2004-07-06


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ABOUT ME
I'm 28, tired of working and avoiding the real world by returning to school to seek advanced degrees.

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College Athletics and the Great Outdoors

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The NBA

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JoeCartoon Approved Diary Rings

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