You cannot fire me because I quit!
4:12 p.m. || 2004-07-28
That's it! I did it today. I quit! Okay, really I gave my 19 weeks notice, 19 weeks ago, but today really is my last day.
It's days like today when you find out who really loves you and who just wants an excuse to eat cake. I told the office that I did not want a going away party. No cake, no ice cream. Turns out I'm a big fuckin' party pooper.
Here's what I want. I want you to tell me I did a good job. I want you to be free with a positive glowing recommendation in the event that I need it in the future. And if I really like you, then you've been invited to my watch Sean get drunk and make an ass out of himself party tonight, and I want you to come... excuse me, attend.
One of my bestest friends in the world (hello CindyLou!) is throwing the party and I'm about to have to put her in a straight jacket because she is afraid that people are going to be mad at her because she didn't invite them. Thus, she wants to invite everyone. She is a democrat and thinks all the crappy little people in the world should be treated like kings. I keep trying to explain to her that if I didn't invite them it is because I loathe them and if they show up then I will hit them in the face with a brick. She doesn't understand this emotion. Again, I repeat she's a democrat and often doesn't understand simple logic.
I don't want these people to attend because they don't amuse me, and in general they make my life hell at work. Why? Because all they do is gossip. Not work and gossip, which I happen to think is perfectly fine. But rather, just gossip. And by not working at least a few hours of the day, that means I have to pull their weight too. Fuck them. If they'd have helped out over the past 5 years they could have the pleasure of getting drunk with me. Since they didn't they can get drunk by themselves just like they do every night since they don't have friends.
Other than my last minute work cramming, and trying to calm Cindy down, I'm having to deal with everyone coming by to wish me good luck/farewell/bon voyage... They all appear to be very very sad. I'm still pretty sure it's because there's no cake. Well, they're all sad except Cindy. And I figured she'd be the weepiest of them all. She's trying to blame it on the fact that she's too worried about the party, but I think I know the real truth. I'm pretty sure that she's just becoming a cold, ruthless, heartless bitch of a Republican. I really couldn't be more proud.
And now a few fun things to tide you over until tomorrow (See: Noise and pretty 'pitchers'). These are the things I watch when work makes me want to pull my hair out. Sort of a tribute list if you will.
If one of those doesn't make you laugh, then go throw yourself in traffic because you are a dumbass.
Wanna know how to scare your ex? - 2005-03-12
Maybe I am not the sickest person out there. - 2005-02-23
I'm out of my funk and I'm not talking about hygiene. - 2005-02-11
Ding Dong the Sports Season is Dead. - 2005-02-07
Wow, is this thing still on? - 2005-01-31
4:12 p.m. || 2004-07-28
