I love to cuss...
10:03 a.m. || 2004-09-16
Okay, so you're tired of me harping on my lack of free time, so I won't do it. ...except this one last time. This is what I have been reduced to. I'm pirating funny materials from other places. I'm sorry, but it's still funny, so if you don't like it go fuck yourself.
Memo - 09/2004
Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of
normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no
longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative phrases have been provided by Human Resources, so that proper exchange of ideas and information can
continue in an effective manner.
1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the fuck you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She's a ball-busting bitch.
3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No fucking way.
5) TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be shitting me!
6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a shit.
7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my fucking problem.
8) TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the fuck?
9) TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This shit won't work.
10) TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the fuck didn't you tell me sooner?
11) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
That Motherfucker don't know shit.
12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
What the fuck did ou just say?
13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Bitch, Kiss my ass.
14) TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
Fuck that shit, I'm on salary.
15) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Get your stupid ass out my face.
16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job is some bullshit.
17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the fuck died and made you boss?
18 ) TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's a fucking asshole.
Thank You,
Human Resources
Wanna know how to scare your ex? - 2005-03-12
Maybe I am not the sickest person out there. - 2005-02-23
I'm out of my funk and I'm not talking about hygiene. - 2005-02-11
Ding Dong the Sports Season is Dead. - 2005-02-07
Wow, is this thing still on? - 2005-01-31
10:03 a.m. || 2004-09-16
