My compass is broken!
10:40 a.m. || 2004-08-26
Okay, I can already tell that this whole law school thingie is going to put a serious crimp in my DLand time... I should probably just quit so that I can go back to fulltime stalking/lech-ing on the internet.
But for now...
It's probably proper to say that I have a fucked up moral compass. I've known this forever, but I'm coming to realize it more and more as we're forced to self-examine ourselves to determine our opinions of case law.
Here are the basic tenets of my 'broken compass.'
It's okay to steal stuff.
I really mean this. That doesn't mean it's okay to break into someone's car and steal their radio. That would be wrong and I would help the guy shoot you if we caught you. However, I believe there are some loopholes.
A) For example, if you ever paid taxes on said item (ie. a street sign), then it's okay. Personally it has been alleged that I have a Midlothian City Limits, Pop. 5141 sign, a deer crossing sign, a DWI Checkpoint sign(which contains a HUGE bat), etc. I dare you to prove that I have 'em, but if I did, I would say it's okay.
B) Also, if you paid a hugely inflated price, then it is okay to steal some of the associated products. A $4 tequila shot? You'd better damn well believe that I'm takin' that shot glass with me.
C) If something cool belongs to your friends and you are fairly certain that they will have the opportunity to steal it back from you, then it's okay to take it. Having said that, once you steal it, you MUST display it in an easily observable place in your house. Thus, you satisfy the requirement that they can have the chance to steal it back.
D) It's also okay to steal something from Assholes. Now that is not to say that if your dad hid his watch from the VietCong by hiding it in his ass that you can go up in there and get it. It's more like, if you go to a party and the guy is a complete cock, then you are allowed to take his stuff. Especially if he's such a dick that he proudly displays his porn in the bathroom just to prove that he's cool. In that case you are almost REQUIRED to steal his porn. This is referred to as the 'Tool Clause.'
In addition to the allowable exceptions, there are also things that you CANNOT do!! These are:
1) You are not allowed to steal things that could potentially hurt people. This is known in my inner circle as the 'Stop Sign' clause. Railroad signs and yield signs are off limits too...
2) You are not allowed to steal something that you could not afford. This would really make it 'Stealing' in the legal sense as opposed to just borrowing with no intent to return.
I may add a few more later, but this is all the time I have for now...
In the meantime, feel free to offer up some comments of your own!!
Later...
Wanna know how to scare your ex? - 2005-03-12
Maybe I am not the sickest person out there. - 2005-02-23
I'm out of my funk and I'm not talking about hygiene. - 2005-02-11
Ding Dong the Sports Season is Dead. - 2005-02-07
Wow, is this thing still on? - 2005-01-31
10:40 a.m. || 2004-08-26
